Glasses: Forever 21 | Jacket, necklace: Anthropologie | Lipstick: colorLab "Rogue Wave"
I've been thinking a lot lately about why I write this blog.
The first blogs I read were diaries. Remember LiveJournal? Xanga? Even some MySpace pages. They were emotional/mental recordbooks - places for people to document the ordinary, muse on the extraordinary, approach new ideas, and wrestle with what was uncomfortable to them. It amazed me to witness people being brave enough to put things that they may have only written to themselves in a diary out into the world. The first blog I ever religiously followed was RuPaul's in 2002 - she was so unafraid of honesty. I loved reading what she thought about her days, and how she navigated through life. Even when the content wasn't revolutionary she was always funny and truthful. As a person who feels deeply but has a lot of difficulty expressing herself, I loved that blogs let people communicate not only what they thought, but how they were feeling. And about anything - school, work, global affairs, love, friendship, sex, politics, music, family, art, travel...maybe it was part of being a bright eyed teenager, but I felt like blogs gave me little peeks into the lives and feelings of other people, and they made me feel connected to individuals of the world - not just large groups of anonymous people.
Obviously, blogs are largely different now. We all know the story - the internet exploded, facebook happened, we got freaked out by the idea of being seen, shame set in, and we eventually were terrified of our employers/parents/kids/exes/partners/governments having access to our feelings and thoughts. I get it. I get why I feel the need to be guarded as a 26-year old adult more than I did as a 14-year old kid. But now it feels like most blog posts I read are reactionary to this shift...desperate to portray untouchable, flaw-free, airbrushed, "inspirational" perfection - something I have never been interested in. The worst part is that these are often the blogs that Make It - the airbrushing is rewarded with clicks (and then branding, advertising, promotion...you get the idea). We're surrounded by bastions of endless, unattainable, bland inspiration blogs, and bloggers are expected to be smooth, shiny and ALWAYS in the "on" state.
The real inspiration is in the flaws, the honesty, the experiment. I still love blogging, and there are many blogs I still enjoy reading - but finding people who are still willing to be honest and unguarded is hard. I'm not really any better - as mentioned before, I don't enjoy talking/writing about my feelings. But these silly outfit pictures, small rants, playlists and musings are authentic to my experience - since getting dressed is my most consistent form of expression, in a twisted way this blog sort of is about feelings.
I don't know. My point is, I'm not perfect and neither is this blog. But I like it that way, and even though I feel like a scaly dinosaur in a land of shiny, smooth robots I am not giving up on it.
Go forth and be your sweet self.