Man it's been a while. No posts for 5 months is for sure blogger suicide, but the good news is I've always had a healthy amount of perspective about what this blog is, who its meant for, and why I write it. To spell it out: This blog is a space for me, a place to record thoughts & inspirations, a place to return to for comfort & recharging & musing. It's meant for me, and for anybody who is curious about the same things I am. I write it because it's an outlet, it's a log, and it's fun. I don't do this for anyone but myself, which is why I take breaks when I need to. It's the only way I know how to keep writing.
I also haven't written in a while because good lord, my interests are truly so tiny & unimportant in the context of the daily political shitshow we're all living through. On bad days things feel tasteless, dull, doomed- like I'm so deadened by the news that everything loses meaning. Then, some days every flower springing from the ground seems like a goddamn tear-inducing miracle, and I remind myself to STFU with the despair and KEEP FIGHTING. It's a rollercoaster and it takes a lot of energy to stay engaged, which takes away from my ability to care about what me & other folks are wearing. Honestly, who cares in the grand scheme?
The thing is, I still do. In a smaller scale, with a heavy dose of awareness about the insignificance of fashion*. (*As a distraction, not as an industry. The fashion industry actually has an absolutely ENORMOUS worldwide significance & corresponding responsibility that I'm working to understand better, more on that later!) I still care, I'm still fascinated, I'm still engaged, I still believe the clothes we choose are reflections of the people we are, or were, or aspire to be, or are afraid to become. Even in the chaos, we still pick out armor every day and go out into the world. And the persistence of that choice, through troubled times & smooth sailing alike, is fascinating to me.
So maybe I'll step back into writing this little blog. Dip a toe in and see if I can challenge myself to stay engaged in my silly passions, if for no other reason than I refuse to lose. I refuse to lose my silly passions. I won't.
All that's to say, hey again guys. I don't have outfit photos to share (it's been literally months since I've taken any), but I do have some recent obsessions I can tell you all about.
Books, & finding the time to read again
I used to read every single night before bed. I loved letting my mind wander, and I enjoyed the feeling of my eyelids getting heavy and the slow blur of words on a page as I'd slip into dreams. Over the past year, though, I've gotten out of the habit and have found myself more often than not falling asleep to nothing but my own exhaustion. I've been trying to fix this over the last few months - as a result I have a few obsessions to share:
1) Salt Fat Acid Heat - I've only had this book for a few days, and I'm already addicted. I'm fascinated by every paragraph, and Samin Nosrat makes me as excited about the chemistry of cooking as when I first saw a science fair volcano erupt in 2nd grade. Haven't actually made any of the recipes yet, but I've learned more about salt than I ever thought possible (including the proper way to measure and distribute a "palmful" of kosher salt). I'm making it sound boring because I'm not as effective a writer as she is, but I swear, this book rules.
2) Sweetbitter - Give me a sweaty, visceral book about city life and it's vices any day of the week. I read this over two weeks and would look forward to it every single night. Basic synopsis: a girl raised in Midwestern-blandness moves to New York City and lands an entry-job at one of the most storied, famous, respected restos in the city. The book is dark & bright, full of flavor & texture, painfully romantic. I loved it.
3) Between the World and Me - I'm not normally a nonfiction reader, but non-fiction with the artful grace of Ta-Nehisi Coates warrants a major exception. Friends told me I'd finish it in a few days, but it is dense. And necessary. It's wrong to rush it. I find myself reading every sentence three or four times, because every single word is jam packed with truth, pain, and a relentlessly honest perspective.
4) Beautiful Ruins - this book jumps back and forth through time, and feels as expansive as an epic MGM musical from the 50s. Sooo, of course I loved it. Jess Walter takes us from 1960s Amalfi coast to modern day Los Angeles to rainy 80s Edinburgh to Lake Tahoe & the Donner Party in the 19th century. As disparate as these places may seem, it all serves to tell a lovely story about love, fame, and the living in the wake of our choices. I highly recommend.
There are podcasts that bring consistent joy & laughs every time they're released (Switched on Pop, The Read), podcasts that make me feel a little less insane in an insane world (Pod Save America, Strangers, Revisionist History). They're fantastic commute company, and I love listening to them while I put together dinner at the end of a long day.
Ballerina off-duty style
All I want to wear these days is soft, soft, comfortable, slinky things. Think slip dresses, soft pants, boyfriend jeans, bare-looking silk camisoles, cashmere sweaters. Side braids & top buns. These ballet flats (I have them in three colors). A touch of some over-the-top costume jewelry in the form of huge vintage clip on earrings. Essentially, I want to look like I just walked out of a dress rehearsal for the Nutcracker. This is a crazy departure from the norm for me - for years I've been all colors, patterns, florals and lace. I still love all that, but there's something about dressing simply that feels right these days.
Spritzes & alcohol-light cocktails
Unfortunately for my liver, I am about to turn 30, and this body can't always handle the long nights like she used to. I am a firm believer in nightly cocktail hour, but I've been needing to scale back on potency. This has lead to an obsession with spritzes, in all of their various forms. My good friend actually picked this book up for me in a bottle shop south of SF and I have loved flipping through it - it's a lovely combination of geography, history, recipes & technique, and overall reverence for the hours between work & sleep, when a few bubbles, a bitter liqueur, and the light of sunset invite us all to start dreaming a little early. (My favorite version of a homemade spritz so far is Campari, champagne, Gerolsteiner mineral water, and a grapefruit peel twist for oil & scent.)
Anyway, more soon.
To love, to the fight, and to the fight to stay inspired.